This Is What It Sounds Like When Geese Cry

On the whole, I consider myself to be rather animal-friendly.

You know -- save the whales, save the spotted owl, save the manatees.  And so on.  Hell, I even stood up for the snail darter.

I never fail to pet a friendly doggie, or to rub the belly of a cat in need.  In our household, spiders and other assorted unwanted guests are forewarned that they'd best cooperate with my efforts to trap-and-release them into the outdoors, because if Mrs. Subdivided has her way, they'd be smooshed or flushed out of existence.

So while I certainly don't measure up to PETA standards on animal welfare (no one who has downed as many cheeseburgers as I have could make that claim), I do rather think that on the whole, I am a friend to animals.

On the other hand, however, you've got your gaggle of North Park Geese, now reduced by around 270 birds. 

By my estimation, even 700 is a conservative estimate.  We drive through the park every morning, and often there appear to be at least that many on the lawn by the boathouse alone -- let alone however many are in the rest of the park.  That's 700 hissing poop bags (around 1.5 pounds per day per goose) adding up to a park that has become, in effect, unusable.

I'll speak only for my own family here, but I will tell you that we are reluctant to use the park, particularly the nicest part (by the lake), only because you can't take two steps without stepping into the goose shit.  Without going into details, let me also just say that young kids are naturally curious, and liable to pick up interesting-looking things on the ground.

Am I happy that some creatures had to die?  Well, no, not in the least.  It's sad -- but what's even sadder is that we have a beautiful park that simply can't be used because of shit.  If we're not going to control the goose population, then it's time to abandon the park entirely.  Stop paying money to maintain it, because it's going to be unusable before too long.

It's my hope that pre-emptive efforts to control the goose population will be more effective in the future.  In fact, I'd be happy to volunteer to help oil the eggs next spring. 

In the meantime, I find it a little ironic that the people who are complaining the loudest are people who don't live anywhere near the park.  You try wiping the goose shit off your kids sometime, people, then come back and tell me how much you love those crap factories.

Comments

[Cathy]

Perhaps a remedy to satisfy both groups would be to give each goose an enema before it is sent to play in the park. Or, a cork in the ol' tookus could control the poop expelled too. Maybe give the individual geese a choice of which method it prefers.

[Bob]

Hah. Cathy, I like it.

Although based on what I've read about giving enemas to animals, I'm not volunteering.

[Ms. Caroline]

I wonder whose job it was to measure the amount of poo expelled per goose per day?

[Susan]

How about diapers for the geese, like they do with horses in cities...but only the cloth kind for environmental reasons. I'm not a fan of killing animals, but I don't think other ideas have merit over the long-term or could address the magnitude of the problem. I guess having lived with an outdoorsman for many years - one who said the overpopulation of certain species was a direct result of humans pushing them into smaller and smaller places - has rubbed off on me. And I don't like stepping in shit either. By the way, everyone needs to stop feeding the geese. That would help matters.

[aimee]

i'm curious how many people made it to your site by googling "how to wipe goose shit off your kids" :)

i'll be in touch next week... i've got a banner thingy to show soon.

[Ol'Froth]

The geese are also a hazard to bicyclists. We've had a couple of bike vrs. goose collisions where the bicyclist got pretty banged up (as did the goose.

The geese will usually get out of the way of a car, but I don't think they see the much smaller size of the bikes as a threat.

[Cathy]

In today's news... how Hollywood is managing the poop problem from pigeons:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20032364/?GT1=10150